Saturday, September 3, 2011

Firsts!!

How are the first few days of meeting a guy? Going out with him? Falling in love? It’s a beautiful feeling right? Well I think it’s a wonderful feeling. The whole idea of being present in that same place where he is every day may sound tiring, but eventually pays off. It’s also the most awesomest feeling if the guy reciprocates to your feelings.

The very early stage of a relationship is when we have butterflies in our stomachs, when you want to grasp everything he says about himself, where you want to spend every free minute with him. It’s also the stage where you figure out his work stress, hours and understand his work. The stage when you have to impress his friends just so they like you and put in a good word for you. You deal with anxiety, butterflies, sleepless nights, sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. What’s worst is when you don’t know how the other person feels about you. Sometimes when there is a guy it’s like either your time investment did do you some good or sometimes it didn’t. When it doesn’t, it’s the most depressing feeling of all. When it does, you invested right! It’s like you want to careful of what you say or how you dress or how you drunk you can get. But on the other hand, you want him to see you as you, when you say something stupid or in your dirty rags or even slip and fall. You want him to know all your good points, your strong points, your habits, your traits; everything that describes you. Thinking about all this its actually gives me stress. You have to make the perfect first impression. This is also the time where you get to see his good points, traits and don’t wish for anything that puts you off.

Right now I’m in a similar stage and trust me I’m losing sleep over it. LOL! No really I’ve not slept in two nights. Maybe it’s the vibe someone’s giving out to the universe. Maybe its life trying to tell me there is going to b e a change. Whatever it is, I’ve got butterflies in my stomach 24x7 and it’s a weird feeling.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Romantic Novels


So of late I've started reading a lot of romantic novels, and I love the feeling of being in love. Doesn't mean I am in Love... but the whole idea of being in love intrigues me. There are so many authors- Milly Johnson, Nicholas Sparks(My fav), Cecilia Ahern, Sandra Brown, Barbra Taylor Bradford, James Patterson, Judith McNaught, Jackie Collins and many more that I cant seem to recall. Reading is a habit that has been instilled in me since I was a child. Everynight before sleeping I read for half an hour, sometimes I go to a coffee shop just to read my book in peace.

Every story is different from the other and I fall more in love with love. I cant believe I'm saying this but I actually believe in these stories. I feel these stories happen for real. I know that right now while I'm writing this my true love is out there somewhere waiting for me. To be honest I was always taught never to expect, never to believe in best friends, etc. But the books have changed me. I have started expecting to meet my true love at the most random places, I do have best friends and I believe in them.

Anywhere I go, I keep my eye open, what if I meet him at a supermarket, at a party, a bar, a coffee shop, at a doctors clinic... anywhere!!! So anyways when I'm reading these novels I'm in a complete different world, I'm not me. I visualize every scene from the book into real life...sometimes my life. Sounds like I'm mad right?? But trust me I'm not the only one who does this!! I'm a major closet Romantic, I'd rather watch a Romantic movie than a scary one... Trust me I love both the genres. Reading whisks me away from my life, my fears, my worries, my tension.

I could on writing about romance and reading, but I would conclude by saying 'My true Love, please turn out to be what I expected you to be' :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My First Guy


Arranged Marriages are gaining popularity again in India and its a good thing. I feel its best to get married to someone your parents approve of. But don't do it forcefully or without your will. If you love someone and plan to get married, then a love marriage is your best option. But for a person like me, I feel arranged is the best. I'm only saying this because I've been single for as long as I can remember. I'm 24 this year and have a good career going for myself. I know what I wanna do and I am proceeding towards my Goal. But I miss having that one special person to share this with. For how long am I going to keep making plans with my friends and their respective partners. I miss having a "Him" around, I want a him around when I've had a good day at work, I want a him around when i've worked out that extra mile just to lose wtg fast, I want a him around when I am PMSing, I want a him around when I've fought with my mum, I want a him around to go for movies and dinners with, I want a him around who I can be proud of, of every achievement in his life. Thats when I realised I am ok to look for guys my parents find me.

So very recently I went to a guys house with my parents. I was super nervous, I dint know what to do or say. It was my first time seeing guys. We reached his place, met his mum and he came. I had this smile on my face and said hi to him. We all sat down. His brother started asking me where I study and what I do. At that point somewhere in my head I had a sudden question. Will he ask me to sing??? Cuz i suck at it. I was praying he would rather ask if I know how to cook, cause i knew. Just then the guy says shall we go... and I was a little taken aback because as per the Hindi movies its an elder of the family who says why dont the two of you go inside and chat. Anyways so I went in, to his room, something I dint approve off. I feel someone's room is their own personal space, why let other people in. But anyways we got to talking and somehow I calmed down. We had a good conversation(Something I dig). We chatted for a while, his brother and sister-in-law came in and sat with us. Me parents and me left his place. I was satisfied. Once we were down my mum says what do you think... I said Ma its too soon for me to say anything, but yes I would like to meet him again to get to know him better.

But after a while I kept getting this feeling that I'm not the only girl he's seeing. I dont blame him, he's 28, he has to keep his options open.

Point being, I now know what to talk when I go see guys... My dad says I've opened my account of seeing boys!! LOL

Here's wishing me luck that I find my 'Him' soon!! :)