Something is not right..!! :-(

There is something not right in my life, and I don’t know what it is. My b’day was on the 21st of Septmeber and man was I depressed. I dint feel right… I dint want to celebrate, I dint want to talk to anyone. At 12 in the night, my friends came home with cake and wished me… I slept at 3:00am. I woke up to an empty house, becuz my parents were out of town and my younger sister had gone to college. The only person at home was my grandma and I had to tell her it was my b’day. She has been unwell and does not hear much, all she did was smile. I went on Facebook and saw my wall posts… I missed my older sister. I went to work, everyone wished me, my boss msgd that lunch was on her, we called for pizzas and cake. One of my client wished me and I had to tell the other one. In the afternoon I started feeling sad again. Then my parents called saying dinner in the night with them was not a good idea, so I thought since the next day was a holiday, I should take some friends out to drink. I set my plans for the night. My mom called in the evening just an hour before I leave work saying please come to a relative’s house as I needed to offer my condolences. I dint want to go becuz a) it was depressing and b) I was wearing a dress. I asked her what were they doing after, she said they had to stay back, when I asked her what about my cake which my baby sister had baked so lovingly, she said we’ll do it later. And later I had to go out, so I had an argument with her, saying its my b’day and I want to see her. Well eventually I had to do what mom says, but they come to drop me home and cut my cake. I left immediately to go out taking my younger sister along. We went to my club, had alcohol and suddenly it was time to shut down. We then clicked lots of pictures, left from there and went to the church. When I was there I met my boss and she thought I would be getting hammered somewhere but was happy to see me there. We left, went for a drive to town and then back again. My b’’day was over.

The only highlight of my day was when my older sister Chaitri called from US and sang to me over the phone, when I went to the bank to withdraw some cash and the screen flashed a happy b’day and when my younger sister Avni baked a cake for me. The only gift I got was a bag and a bouquet.

In spite of so much…. I was still depressed. I don’t know why. I wanted to cry all day long and was not at all excited about my b’day. I still don’t understand!!! Any suggestions???