Monday, January 18, 2010

The dream run...

so on the 17th of January there was a marathon in Mumbai,and i ran for it.7 kilometers, my first ever dream run, it felt awesome. I was all pumped up from 5.30 in the morning, well i had to get to a particular start point. We started at 9 am so officially i started walking from 9.30 a lot of people had come for the 7 km run. there were so many groups, all different. some were NGO's, a group from McDonald's was running including there mascot. there was Domino's Pizza. there were people from TATA consultancy, a dance group(Shiamak Davar) also. we had to run around in the south of Mumbai near Marine lines, luckily it was near the sea so it wasn't that hot. We got done by about 11.15!!!
for me it dint really feel like i was in a marathon cuz we walked much of it but i was determined to do this so next time i can do the 21km race, its not that difficult. Since i am on a diet and work out regularly i have decided that every time i step on the treadmill i should aim to start with 5 km atleast.
so the next marathon will be next year and i definitely wanna take part in it. my parents and fitness trainers were so happy that i did it.
in all i felt so happy within, that i did it. Going there and completing it was a challenge i put for my self and seeing the spirit was amazing. the best of all this was i saw a physically challenged boy running the 21 km race and his mom and few others were helping him in the last 500 meters. there was also a little baby who had come with his mum, a lot of other people in different get ups where there.

this marathon was not just a race but also a reason for people to do something and since i've been doing nothing lately this was something i was looking forward to!!! :-D

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Feeling of Emptiness!


It’s been 2 days since you’ve left,
The house seems silent.
From a family of 6, it’s become 4,
Feels like no one is at home anymore.

It’s been a year since you’ve left,
My life seems boring without you.
Said you’ll be back soon, but it’s already a year,
I have stopped looking and kept that place only for you.

You’re gonna leave soon,
I feel alone already,
Even though we had very little time, I let myself to be smitten and fell for you,
You say you’re not affected at all, but deep down I know, this hurts you more than me.

So many others have come and gone,
Used and left me completely lifeless,
I sit in the hope that you all will be back,
And it would be the same between us,
But seeing a few now, I know you’ve left for good.
Giving me a feeling of emptiness within.

This feeling was then,
But right now I have to keep my heart open,
Cuz if I don’t, then nobody would get the privilege of knowing me.
And I have decided, alone I am not going to be.

When you pissed me off!!!

You do this all the time,
Every time you do this it’s predictable.
You just need excuses to excuse yourself.
For you, it’s all a game.

You have traveled such a long distance,
And come after so long,
But you still don’t want to see a change.
You think everything is the same as you left it.

You need to stop doing this,
Such an attitude will only make people judge you,
You may think this is such a small thing
But for me, it means everything!!!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

i dont know anything!!!

I don’t know what I want,
I don’t know what I need,
I don’t know what I feel,
I don’t know what is right,
I don’t know what is wrong,
I don’t know what I wanna do in life,
i don’t know why he does this,
I don’t know why she says no for everything,
I don’t know why he does not give me my space,
I don’t know why I am still awake at 1.30AM,
I don’t know why I am so desperate for it,
I don’t know why it takes so much time,
I don’t know why I am sitting here,
I don’t know why my phone doesn’t stop ringing,
I don’t know why I am still unemployed,
I don’t know if I should be studying,
I don’t know what name is good,
I don’t know if I should be getting out,
I don’t know if I want her to go,
I don’t know what they want from me,
I don’t understand them,
I don’t understand myself!!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

WHO AM I?


I am someone who is not real.
I am what you want me to be.
I have no dreams of my own…you gave them to me.
I have no life, I live for you.
I have no feelings, I feel what u want me to feel.
I love when you ask me for it.
I care when you want me to.
I laugh when u tell me to.
I cry when u make me.
I am nothing but a TOY…

How long am I going to take it for?
When will I run out of patience?
When will I start to live for myself?
When will I make myself a priority?
When will I make my own decisions?
Why am I scared of what you think?
Why do I depend on you?
When will I stop being a TOY….?

It has to be now or never…
I have to take a stand in life…
I do not have to be scared of you anymore….
I should not be scared to walk over you cuz that’s what you did to me….
I have to do this today not tomorrow…
Someday I will be glad I did this…
This is going to hurt…. But I have to let go...
I cannot and will not be a FUCKING TOY ANYMORE….!!!

Monday, November 30, 2009

EXPECTING AND GIVING...!!!

Expectations can make or break a person...
If u expect more and things don’t happen that way, they you’re broken...
If u don’t expect and lots of things happen, then you’re made...
Even the measurement of expectations matter...
There are high expectations and low expectations...
Parents have high expectations from their children to get good marks or choose a wise carrier.
Friends have expectations in being there for each other and not back stab.
Lovers have expectations to be loved more them the ex and get more.
Old people have expectations from young people who always take care of them.
Young people have expectations from elders to understand them even if they wanna go to a night club.
Kids have expectations from parents to buy them that doll or car, their friends have.
Best friends have expectations from the other to understand when they’re going through a rough patch with their lovers.
Best friends have expectations from the other to go on listening to them bout the same things 10 times.

THERE IS A VERY THIN LINE BETWEEN GIVING AND EXPECTING....
WHEN U GIVE... U WANNA TAKE..TAKING MEANS EXPECTING....
You give good marks to your parents, you expect a gift or a reward.
You give trust to your friends expecting the same back.
You give more love to your lovers expecting more love back.
You have given a lot when ur young... So you expect to be taken care of when you’re old.
You give by working at home, expecting permission to go to a night club.
You give by behaving yourself, expecting that doll or car.
You give a shoulder to cry on, expecting the same from your best friend.
You give a listening ear, expecting the same when you wanna talk.

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT GIVING AND EXPECTING….
YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW THE RIGHT MEASUREMENT OF EACH...!!!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

my feelings on Nov 11th, 2009.

why are goodbye's so hard??
why do we have to say goodbye??
what good is there in saying bye???
will we forget each other???
NO....NEVER..........
then why a good bye????


















People always leave...
no one is forever....
they come, give you love....a few laughs, some good memories, some advice and they leave....
does God select people for this job???
what right does he have to play with our hearts and mind???
why does he do this...???
so we learn to be alone???
but why send people when we have to be alone...we are better off alone....we can take care of oursleves....we dont need guests!!!
I am permanent, my heart is permanent, my mind is permanent...why screw with it???
why change for these people when they'r eventually going to leave????


u dont have the right to know me...
u dont have the right to look at me with sympathy...
u dont have the right to make me laugh...smile...
u dont have the right to give me love...care for me....give me....
u dont have the right to give me expectations..... hopes...
u dont have the right to take it away from me....
u dont have the right to give me memories....
u dont have the right to make me sad and cry....
U DONT...............!!!!